In Life, One Must Know When to Ignore
In life, when facing unreasonable individuals, the best approach is to never foolishly argue with them. Instead, bravely learn to ignore them. Presenting facts and reasoning will only lead to deeper entanglement. Whether you like it or not, whether you agree or not, it’s ultimately unimportant. Once you have some form of interaction with the other party, if you don’t understand the boundaries, if you don’t know how to handle it, you’ll be negatively affected. As the writer Mo Yan once said, “If you don’t like something, you just don’t like it, without any reason. It’s like a gust of wind passing by. What you should do is brush off the dust, turn around, and calmly walk away.” Often, regardless of age, it’s best to be straightforward and direct—treat what you like well and simply stay away from what you don’t. As Nietzsche said, “He who fights with monsters should be careful lest he thereby become a monster.” By doing so, you can focus your time and energy on self-improvement and not let troublesome people and matters become stumbling blocks or sources of distress on your path to personal growth. In doing so, you’ll find ease, tranquility, and the ability to live life to the fullest.
Read more, mind your own business
Wise people prefer to read more and mind their own business.
Although minding others’ business may seem easier and even more satisfying, if you mind too much, you’ll become a busybody. In the end, you’ll spend your days on things that don’t contribute to your growth, value, or meaning, and might even end up offending others and causing trouble. This will only lead to your own disadvantage and suffering, hindering your journey and success. What we need to change is ourselves—our greatest enemy is ourselves. Since we encounter various people and matters in life, many of which may surpass our abilities, we must be cautious to avoid taking the wrong path or seeking shortcuts. It’s not about becoming smarter or more successful by dealing with people, but about finding the right path, doing the right things, and cultivating the right mindset and wisdom. Ultimately, when you can simply smile and move on from troublesome people and matters, you’ll live more freely and at ease. When you have time and energy, it’s better to read more books, as the authors have poured their hearts and sometimes a lifetime into writing a book, and it surely contains more wisdom and enlightenment. If you spend that time and energy on things you don’t understand or know, you might waste time and squander your life. As poet Zheng Banqiao once said, “Reading ancient books broadens one’s horizons, minding one’s own business nurtures the spirit.” In short, when idle, find something more important and worthwhile to do. Reading is often one of the most low-cost, high-yield activities. When we no longer waste our energy on so-called troublesome people and matters, we have the potential and opportunity to do meaningful things
Ignore idle people
Writer Zhou Guoping once said, “A person who expends all their energy on judging trivial matters has no strength left to care about important things.” The most foolish thing one can do is to be easily influenced by unworthy people, likely idle ones, and subsequently burden oneself. To live a good life, it’s crucial not to overthink, to broaden your perspective, and to distance yourself from trouble and idle people. Don’t waste your energy on idle people or let trivial matters torment you. The wise monk Shide said, “Tolerate, let go, avoid, endure, respect, and ignore. Wait a few years, and you’ll see.” A wise person never engages in pointless disputes or struggles with others, because they understand that by enduring, letting go, and avoiding, there’s no need to engage or entangle themselves. By doing so, they let time prove who will ultimately triumph. When facing those who deliberately seek trouble and constantly target you, don’t fall for it. It’s highly likely that they envy, resent, and are jealous of you, and feel incapable of achieving what you have. Therefore, they seek to undermine you, gossip about you behind your back, and try to bring you down. If you engage with them or get caught up in their games, you’ll likely find yourself increasingly exhausted and tormented.
Live your life well
Writer Eileen Chang once said, “Life is like a movie, you are both the director and the main character.” Regardless, living your life well and being true to yourself is already sufficient. Open your mind, broaden your perspective, and when bad things happen, learn to take them lightly, let go, and move on. At the same time, focus your time and energy on more important matters and on how to improve yourself. This way, when faced with troublesome people and matters, you can cut your losses in time and avoid further harm after ignoring them. There’s a line from the play “Mrs. Meiso’s Comic Dialogue” that I particularly like: “For those who make things difficult for me, if I must defeat them in order to make them behave, then let them continue to do so. Because when I step onto a bigger stage, they will be replaced by applauding audiences.” Life is short, and instead of getting caught up in meaningless and valueless matters, it’s better to learn to let go, not to mind, and then focus on yourself, live your own life. Only then can you truly live with peace, ease, and authenticity.
