Meeting Is Reuniting: Learning to Handle Relationships Through Meditation

Why Have Good Relationships?

Let’s start by analyzing the benefits of having good relationships. According to modern scientific research, having a strong support system of relationships can make us healthier! It can boost our immune system, and neuroscience shows that quality relationships activate a range of healthy brain functions, such as regulating our emotions, relieving stress, and enhancing our problem-solving and adaptability skills. All these highlight the importance of relationships in life.

As human beings, we are naturally influenced by emotions and desires. From the moment we are born, we play different roles on life’s stage, living in a vast network of relationships. It’s difficult to escape the influence of others, and I believe that most people’s troubles stem from their relationships with others.

On a rainy day, a car speeding past might splash mud on you, making you angry, while a passerby with an umbrella might share their cover with you, bringing joy. Whether the influence is good or bad, deep or shallow, we always receive some energy from others. The difference lies in that negative energy brings harmful emotions, while positive connections replenish our mental strength.

Causes of Relationship Tension

From a scientific perspective, the primary causes of relationship tension are negative emotions, stress, and anxiety, which play significant roles. These emotions are controlled by our brain. The human brain acts on our life system, playing a crucial role in directing our actions. When you find yourself losing control of your emotions, filled with anger, or feeling an intense desire for something that leads to rage, it is actually the brain activating an emergency self-defense mode to protect itself.

The limbic system of the brain controls our emotions, while the cortex is used for thinking. The amygdala in the brain is one of the main culprits that triggers anger. Once it is overly stimulated, it releases adrenaline that inhibits rational thinking, leading to a loss of control.

Therefore, most of our negative emotions are caused by the brain’s loss of control. In the premotor area of our brain, there is a function called the empathic brain, which connects with the serotonergic system. By regularly releasing serotonin, this system can help the brain become calmer and clearer.

Based on the analysis above, it is evident that 97% of our negative emotions stem from imbalances in the brain’s limbic system. Therefore, to have good relationships, we need a healthy and calm brain, which comes from a correct understanding of things.

Understanding and Our Relationships

A healthy brain comes from a correct understanding of things, which involves a proper thinking pattern. Mistaken thinking and misperceptions often arise from our desires and greed for things. We are easily drawn to external, illusory, and superficial things, always trusting what our eyes see. When our sensory desires are not fulfilled or fail to meet our expectations, we may react with hostility or criticism.

Our eyes can see the whole world but not ourselves. Our heart can know everything, yet it is hard to understand our own nature. We are often blinded by the illusions in our mind, unable to see what we already possess.

We don’t realize that the reality of life is a process of struggle between the false self and the true self, between the mind and the soul. We fail to understand that all emotional entanglements arise from not truly understanding others, as we always interpret them based on our own needs.

We overlook the essence of our soul—it is empty, joyful, unconditional love, and acceptance. It can give us the right mindset to understand and accept others, and to realize that behind every emotional outburst is a role we are trapped in.

When we understand this, we learn to give others what they expect, offering help and care. We can learn to control our external senses and create inner harmony and balance. All of this comes from the power of our soul’s inner awareness.

How Meditation Helps in Building Good Relationships

Why is it said that we can learn to handle relationships through meditation? We have discussed how stress is one of the main causes of imbalanced brain chemicals and emotional loss of control, and how mistaken thinking plays a significant role in it.

During meditation, the body is in a calm and stable state. In the pyramid-like sitting posture, the lower body is stable, and energy flows upward, helping the brain remain calm and composed. This can enhance our ability to judge things more clearly.

Through the practice of quiet sitting and internal observation, we can better understand ourselves and identify the roots of anger. This allows us to connect with our loving inner soul and cultivate self-discipline, tolerance, understanding, and kindness. When we bring this insight and kindness into our daily lives, we can transform all conflicts and oppositions into harmony and unity. We will realize that life is not about seeking or obtaining love; our task is no longer about searching for and demanding love.

When we let go of our external pursuits, we can reconcile with the inner barriers to love, allowing us to discover and create love. At that point, love will no longer be just a thought in our mind, but a living awareness in the present moment. We can then use love to transform the imperfections in our lives.

The Body as a Temple, the Soul Dwelling Within

The body is a temple, and the soul resides within it. We are the source of everything. All the external disharmony we perceive is actually a reflection of our inner state. Through meditation, quiet sitting, and internal observation, we learn to let go of external pursuits and break through inwardly. We learn to control our emotions and anger, and connect with love and spread it.

Good relationships are essentially about cultivating love, and meditation is the bridge for this cultivation. It continuously provides you with more power of love through awareness. To have good relationships, maintain sharp insight, and to gain that insight, start with daily quiet sitting, meditation, and internal observation.