IS ENLIGHTENMENT WORTH IT? | Zen Wisdom

QUESTION:
Many people who supposedly have seen their self-nature (that is they have experienced kensho) complain that they have not gained from their experience. They still have as many vexations as they had before the experience, and they say it was not worth the time and effort they put into the practice. If students have these feelings, did they truly experience kensho? Does kensho have any lasting effect, or does the benefit eventually recede, leaving practitioners where they started? Does the problem lie with the master who puts too much emphasis on answering koans (kung-ans), or does the problem lie with today’s students who expect too much too soon, without working hard or long enough?

SHIH-FU:
Seeing into one’s nature is seeing into the nature of emptiness, seeing that there is nothing to be attached to. It is realizing that the four forms described in the Diamond Sutra ─ forms of self, forms of others, forms of life, forms of sentient beings ─ are all empty. It is realizing that the four views, that of eternity, bliss, self, and purity, are erroneous and inverted.

These four views are common attachments for ordinary sentient beings, whether they are practitioners or not. People want to believe in immortality, in an unchanging self that will continue through eternity, either in some form of heaven, or in another life. They believe that such a state will be eternally blissful, but they are defining bliss from their own experience, which is one of attachment. They believe that this state, where an unchanging self enjoys the bliss of eternal life, will be one of purity ─ no more suffering or defilement. However, when people speak of purity or impurity, it is usually from the perspective of physical enjoyment in the realm of desire.

Most people, including serious practitioners, cling to these four inverted views. People with such attachments have not truly seen into their self-nature. It is a fundamental Mahayana principle that nothing is permanent or absolute. There is no unchanging self, there is no absolute bliss or purity. This is stated very clearly in the Heart Sutra and in the Diamond Sutra. There are no distinctions between eternity and impermanence, self and others, happiness and suffering, purity and impurity. If, in your practice, there is still attachment to any of these inverted views, then you have not truly experienced kensho, at least not deep kensho.

Some people may think, then, that there is no such thing as seeing into one’s nature, or that it’s impossible to experience kensho. It is definitely possible to experience kensho, but it depends on the practitioner, and it depends on the master who is providing guidance. If a master keeps a tight watch over the gate of Ch’an, time and again turning practitioners away, telling them that they have not yet entered, then at a certain point they will have no more expectations; there will no longer be an urge to seek enlightenment. They will just practice diligently. In such a situation, practitioners will be more likely to experience kensho. But after the experience, then what?

When you experience kensho, you have not seen anything or attained anything. You realize that what you have seen in the past and what you are seeing now are exactly identical, except that now there is no self involved.

If a good master is present, then with a few questions he or she can determine if the experience is genuine or false, if you saw your true nature or not. A lesser master, however, can be deceived. In most cases, such experiences are not genuine. Rather, they are psychological and physiological responses that arise during the practice. Again, I must stress that it takes a very good master to determine the validity of an experience.

As to vexations, they do not disappear after you experience kensho. They will continue to manifest as they always have. The difference is, after a genuine kensho experience, you will be more aware of your vexations. You’ll know when vexations are about to arise. When you are in the midst of vexation, you’ll know very clearly of your situation. It’s as if there is a separate person keeping constant watch, always alert.

People who have not seen their true nature will often times find themselves buried in vexation, and they will complain about their predicament. People who have seen their true nature, however, will not have this problem. They will be aware of vexations rising, and none of their vexations will be very great. In this sense, a person who has experienced kensho is much better off than the ordinary person.

STUDENT:
Isn’t it possible to see vexations rising and to know that you are in the midst of vexation without having seen your original nature?

SHIH-FU:
It is not the same. People who have not seen their self-nature are not clearly aware of their vexations. They might be able to recognize obvious vexations, but they wouldn’t be aware of the milder, subtler vexations. People who have experienced kensho recognize anything that involves self-attachment. It is an immediate, direct awareness. People who have not experienced kensho might recognize large vexations, but it is through a rational process, not through direct awareness.

Sometimes people believe that they have seen their true nature. They may even guide others in practice, believing that they are now teachers or masters. But in their own lives, they continue to drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes, eat meat, fool around, be prideful, etc. Others might question them saying, “Master, if you know these are bad habits, why do you continue? Why don’t you change?”

They might answer, “Yes, they are bad habits, but at least I’m clearly aware of them. Most people do not even realize these are bad habits.” So they continue with their lives, taking sips of liquor, then saying, “Ah, this is a bad habit, ” smoking cigarettes and saying, “Bad habit, ” playing mah-jongg with beautiful partners by their sides, all the time saying, “More bad habits.” What do you think? Could it be they know something we don’t know?

People who have truly seen their self-nature may have many desires, but before the desires overtake

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