Patience with Those Who Wish to Harm Us | The Six Paramitas

If we do not respond harmfully when confronted by those who wish to harm us, we can avoid hurting others and ourselves. If we do not habitually respond negatively, it may seem that we always surrender, but we are actually developing the courage and skills to protect ourselves as well as others. In the long run it will be better for everyone. By analogy, if you refrain from chopping down a tree every time you need firewood, in the long run the forest is preserved for future use.

You may question such ideas and say that if you do not fight back, you will be preyed upon and taken advantage of by others. If you are the only one who is practicing patience among a large group, you may feel overwhelmed and even fear bodily harm or for your livelihood. In a situation like this, how can you practice patience?

In ancient China, General Sun Tzu mastered the art of war. He taught that the best strategy is to persuade the enemy to surrender without fighting. The same strategy is used in Chinese martial arts, Where the skilled fighter does not harm or kill, using the least amount of effort to subdue the opponent. A martial arts axiom says: “Use four ounces to deflect a thousand pounds.” This means using the opponent’s own force to defeat him. The same principle can be used in the perfection of patience, whose critical pivot is applying wisdom to turn around difficult situations.
To resolve confrontations, you must extend compassion to those who would harm you. Using wisdom may transform at least half of such difficult times into favorable conditions. This is not to say that if you are the only one practicing patience you should let others take advantage of you. Rather, you should respond with wisdom and compassion. Not all of them may become very good people, but if half of them treat you fairly, that is already very favorable. The sutras say that practicing patience is manifesting wisdom and compassion. Therefore,’ one should not mistake surrender for patience.

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