The Best Interpersonal Relationships: Cherishing Bonds Without Clinging to Them

Xu Muren once wrote in a book: “Looking back on the path we’ve come, all that’s left is the verdant greenery lying flat, and only a few people will accompany you for a lifetime.” In this lifetime, although the journey is short, it is filled with stations. Each station has people arriving and departing. Then, as we walk, we gradually and quietly bid farewell without a sound. Even the best relationships, if not cherished and maintained, always taken for granted, will eventually disperse due to a sense of entitlement.

There’s a saying: “The people who help you care about you, not owe you; the people who let you in cherish you, not fear you. Being kind to you is because you are in their hearts, not because it’s a given.” Even the best relationships have an expiration date, and even the closest people will drift apart. To avoid too many regrets, it’s important to have less of a sense of entitlement and more understanding, respect, cooperation, and tolerance.

Human nature cannot withstand tests.

There’s a saying: “If I give you a piece of candy every day, you get used to it and feel entitled to it. If one day I don’t give it to you, you get angry.” Human nature is not resistant to tests, and it is a matter of habit. However, this habitual aspect only focuses on easy gains rather than hard-earned rewards. For human nature, the best way of life is to gain without effort, to have good fortune fall from the sky. However, if one lives according to human nature, life will not be easy. The higher one’s expectations, the greater the disappointment. Moreover, many people who have not paid any price always feel entitled to greater rewards.

Tong Hua once said: “Every human heart, having given, inevitably expects something in return.” Human nature cannot withstand tests because people often believe they are exceptional, superior to others, and that they are exempt from the norm. In reality, the more arrogant a person is, the more life will confront them. Typically, people with such a mindset cannot manage their relationships well.

Just as the popular saying goes: “Someone who enjoys festivities and someone who enjoys solitude cannot walk together; someone who keeps to themselves and someone who stirs up trouble cannot get along; someone who only talks and someone who works diligently will eventually part ways.” Even the best relationships require mutual understanding, respect, and a willingness from both parties to change for each other. Never assume that you are an exception in the relationship.

Even the best relationships can die from a sense of entitlement.

The most dangerous mentality a person can have is to take everything for granted. Just as in “The Three-Body Problem,” ignorance and fragility are not obstacles to survival, but arrogance is. Regardless of who, or what, a person should never adopt an arrogant mindset, placing oneself at the center of the world, looking down on others. Instead, one should always maintain necessary sobriety, sufficient rationality, and even learn to be grateful, content, and cherish every relationship and feeling.

As the writer Jostein Gaarder once said: “No one is inherently obligated to be good to anyone, so we must learn to be grateful.” Only those who can be grateful, understand the complexity of human nature, and learn to lower themselves, without being presumptuous, can truly navigate their lives and relationships.

In the movie “Chungking Express,” there is a voiceover: “I don’t know when, but everything now has an expiration date. Mackerel will expire, canned meat will expire, even cling film will expire.” When it comes to any relationship that we believe should be cherished and protected, we should treat it well and maintain it with care. In doing so, one can truly rely on their own beliefs, faith, cherish everything, treat everything kindly, and protect everything.

Understanding the need to go with the flow while being sincere and true to oneself.

The writer Liang Shuang said: “One’s values, aesthetics, and experiences are truly the filters of life, and nobody can betray themselves.” In reality, living as a person is often contradictory, perplexing, and disorienting. However, regardless of the circumstances, life always moves forward, and in facing any relationship, we should treat it well and with respect. Only in this way can one rely on themselves, sifting out things that belong to them and suit them in real life.

Ultimately, when dealing with any relationship, one should learn to go with the flow. At the same time, maintaining sufficient sobriety and restraint, and of course, necessary sincerity and warmth, is also essential. When a person’s mind truly matures, their heart becomes more open, and they gain a sufficient understanding of human nature. Then, in their own lives, they will move forward calmly, steadily, balanced, and harmoniously.