Answer: It’s painful. Such a friend is a source of much misfortune. This is especially poignant in these difficult times, where life constantly validates the saying that it’s easy to go from frugality to luxury, but hard to go from luxury to frugality. Some people experience good times, but when they eventually encounter difficulties or perceive a decline, they cannot accept it, and their irritability intensifies. Consequently, they live each day in a state of extreme restlessness, even becoming exceedingly irritable. Author Xu Dawei once said, “Being with unsuitable people will only fill you with irritability and a volatile mood.” It’s important to note that the heavier one’s irritability, or the more time spent with irritable people, the weaker one’s mental strength becomes. As a result, one’s energy and vitality are completely depleted, pushing one’s life and existence into the mire.
Living, everyone experiences pressure, pain, and suffering. This does not mean that the stronger one’s ability, the smoother life will be. It can be said that a smooth life is a false proposition; inevitably, nine out of ten things in life are not ideal. If you focus on the eight or nine negative aspects, you will overlook and waste the remaining one or two good things and joyful events. Moreover, if you constantly live in a tense, high-pressure state, your emotions and mindset are likely to collapse, leading to extreme behavior and an irritable disposition. Therefore, building strong emotional resilience is a basic skill that everyone should possess. Psychologist Martin Seligman said, “In the face of negative emotions, if you do not have a strong mind to digest them, then quietly distancing and shielding yourself is the best choice.” In fact, everyone has negative emotions and encounters negative people. However, whether it’s your own or others’, we should promptly recognize and then decisively shield and distance ourselves. Only in this way can we protect our own emotions and not disturb our lives. This will allow you to invest your valuable time, energy, and focus on important matters. As the “Book of Rites” states, “Those who deeply love will have harmony; those who have harmony will have a joyful countenance; those with a joyful countenance will have an elegant appearance.” It can be said that the stronger one’s emotional resilience becomes, the better it can protect one’s mood and mindset. Over time, with a stable mindset and good mood, your countenance will become more and more pleasant and healthy, and each day will be lived more steadily and happily.
In fact, no one is unwilling to live a more perfect, healthier, and happier life. Undoubtedly, the more one clings to a perfect state, the further away it tends to be. Therefore, wise people will constantly weigh themselves, whether it’s in relation to themselves or to the outside world. Obviously, we cannot change others, but fortunately, we can change ourselves. The greatest absurdity is to continually waste energy and time on trivial matters, or even on worthless people and things, instead of using them to understand and improve ourselves. Living in this society, throughout history, as long as people are alive, there is a chance of encountering bad people, bad things, petty people, petty matters, and evil people and things. Regardless, the more you entangle yourself, the easier it is to ruin your life. Because when a person is entangled with others, in the end, it will always come back to oneself, leading to self-depletion and self-harm. The “New Book of Tang” says, “Those who are mindful will have burdens; those who are mindless will have no worries.” Live with clarity; often, forgiving others means forgiving oneself, and keeping away from people with strong negative energy means fulfilling oneself. When your emotions and mood are no longer entangled with others, and you stop wasting energy and time on them, it means you can manage your emotions and maintain a steady pace in life. In the end, even if you always live in a less than smooth environment, because of your strong beliefs, clear mind, rational analysis, and objective understanding, you can adapt to any environment. As the saying goes, “Gold will always shine.” Writer Ding Ling said, “As long as one has a belief and a pursuit, one can endure any hardship and adapt to any environment.” People must keep moving forward, rather than being entangled for too long by certain people or things. Although no one is perfect, and nothing is perfect, it is clear that those who actively change and grow will not be consumed by annoyance and suffering, and will not become a person with strong negative energy. In the end, as a person becomes more clear-headed, rational, insightful, and bright, they will inevitably prefer solitude and being alone. Then, they will keep away from those who seem to live clearly but actually have strong negative energy, returning to the tranquility of their inner world, living steadily and happily. In doing so, their mental strength will grow stronger and stronger.
If a person uses all their mental strength to compete with others and worry about trivial matters, they will not have the energy to care about important matters. Smart people increasingly prefer to proactively avoid trivial matters and bravely refuse those who like to make a fuss. Clearly, a person’s mental strength is limited. If one constantly worries about this and fusses about that, their life will be full of internal consumption and suffering. Instead of wasting valuable energy on utterly useless matters, it is better to let go, strengthen self-improvement, and shape a well-rounded character. In this way, always look forward, keep moving forward, strengthen your mental strength, and reinforce your determination. In the end, every day will be lived more relaxed and at ease. As Dazai Osamu wrote in “The Lamp in the Novel,” “Don’t worry about tomorrow’s affairs; let tomorrow worry about them. I just want to spend today happily.” Calm down and slow down; life has its own course, and our lives have their own destinations. Faced with an unsatisfactory, unfulfilled life, we must learn to understand, tolerate, gradually let go, and move on. Only then, on the one hand, will we not become more irritable, and on the other hand, will we be able to live with a strong spirit, a calm soul, and a powerful mindset. No matter what happens outside, we can adapt to any environment and walk through our remaining years calmly and openly.