Walking Through Life: Insights on Relationships and Interpersonal Wisdom

As we journey through life, we inevitably encounter various relationships. Getting along with others is an art. Some people will make you feel as if you’re basking in the warmth of spring, and you’ll wish you had met them sooner. Others will make you uncomfortable or embarrassed, leaving you wanting to escape. The renowned Yang Jiang, who enjoyed a happy marriage and a successful career, excelled in her different roles and had unique insights into managing relationships. This interpersonal wisdom was part of her lifelong intelligence.

1. Human Affairs Are More Intriguing Than the Moon and Breeze

Where there are people, there is a social landscape. When souls resonate, a thousand drinks with a close friend aren’t enough. When there is a rift, even a single sentence feels too much. Some people are born towering, while others are as insignificant as ants. These varied human experiences unfold before us like a stage play. We are mere spectators, buying tickets to enjoy the show of “your turn and then mine.” Occasionally, we step on stage ourselves, but there’s no need to take it too seriously.

2. Those in Humble Circumstances See the Truth of Human Nature

Actor Huang Bo once said, “When you’re powerful, everyone around you is good.” When you’re strong, others will fear you, restrain themselves, and offer you smiles and praise. But when you are at a low point, without value or strength, those who sought benefits from you will quickly find you useless. They may distance themselves, mock you, or even kick you while you’re down. The darker side of human nature reveals itself most starkly in such moments. True friends will accompany you during your lows and celebrate your highs. Those who offer help in hard times are your real allies.

3. To Live Peacefully with Others, Be Ready to Concede

Winston Churchill once said, “There are no permanent enemies or friends, only permanent interests.” Interactions are often a process of negotiation. If someone advances, you must retreat. If you intend to maintain a long-term relationship, you must be prepared to compromise and even sacrifice some interests. Everyone says that having more friends opens more doors, but nobody tells you that friendships also come at a cost, sometimes one you can’t afford. To sustain a relationship, you must be willing to make sacrifices; otherwise, it won’t last.

4. To Avoid Competing with Others, Seek Nothing from the World While Maintaining Strength

This world has limited resources, and people compete for them. In martial arts stories, the ultimate goal for a hero is often to “retire from the world,” but before retiring, they must master their skills. Without such mastery, enemies will come knocking one day. Even if you claim to be “uninterested in competition,” the world won’t let you off. Thus, a harsh truth is that without strength, you have no right to claim you’re “above competition.” True peace comes from power. If you wish to be unbothered by worldly affairs, you must have the ability to fight when necessary.

5. Friendships Often Begin with Misunderstanding

True friendship doesn’t arise naturally. Many believe that friendship starts with understanding, but, in fact, it often begins with misunderstanding. At first, we wear social masks. As we grow closer, revealing our true selves, misunderstandings and friction become inevitable. These moments test the friendship. When we can resolve these misunderstandings, the friendship truly begins. If a relationship is strong, no misunderstanding can destroy it.

6. People May Look Down on You, Bully You, or Envy You – Sometimes All at Once

Humans evolved from animals, and the jungle law remains within us: the strong prey on the weak. There’s an old saying, “The tallest tree in the forest is the first to be felled.” Even if you’re innocent, some people won’t let you go. As author Mo Yan once said, “Even if you’re as gentle as a cat, some will complain you shed fur.” This is human nature. So, we must have the courage to face envy and the strength to fight back if necessary.

7. We Once Craved External Recognition, Only to Realize the World Is Our Own and Has Nothing to Do with Others

We often long for others’ praise and approval, believing this will make us lovable. However, everyone is the main character in their own world. If we base our satisfaction on others’ opinions, we hand over control of our destiny. True strength comes from within, needing no external validation. You create your world, and it has nothing to do with anyone else.

8. Relationships Are Not About Money, But About Genuine Feelings

Money can buy fine wine and food but not a true confidant. Many lament why close friendships fade after one friend becomes successful. The truth is, it’s not about money. Often, the cause of distance is that the relationship has naturally faded as each person follows their own path. Shared memories and experiences slowly fade, and once familiar friends become strangers.

9. Maintaining Boundaries Is Essential for Adults

No matter the relationship, we are first and foremost independent individuals. Everyone has their own life challenges. While we can help, we must not overstep. Assuming familiarity allows some to pry into personal matters such as income or family without regard for others’ discomfort. Lack of boundaries breeds resentment, while maintaining and respecting boundaries fosters healthy relationships.

10. Even the Wisest and Most Socially Skilled Are Criticized

We are surrounded by voices because everyone views the world differently. No matter how well you handle things, there will always be critics. Remember, gossip isn’t always a reflection of your flaws; it’s part of life. Understand this, ignore the negativity, and focus on being yourself.

People are complex, with each heart differing from another. Yet, at the same time, people are simple: sincerity exchanged for sincerity will lead to lasting bonds. When your relationships trouble you, it’s often an opportunity to see someone more clearly. With this broader perspective, you may find that your relationships open into clearer skies.