Why Cultivate a Gentle Heart?

Understanding the “Gentle Heart”

The so-called “gentle heart” refers to lowering, diminishing, or lightening the self, not building barriers in relationships, and not acting with self-interest, keeping the heart fully open. Therefore, people who are deeply opinionated or highly self-centered cannot possess a gentle heart. In fact, what Buddhism refers to as “no-mind” is the ultimate form of a gentle heart.

The “mind” in “no-mind” refers to a self-centered mind. Only when we let go of this self-centeredness can we truly become gentle. Otherwise, if someone criticizes us, we immediately become defensive, bristling with edges, making it difficult to communicate calmly and leaving us easily hurt.

Thus, the gentle heart is closely related to the Buddhist concept of “emptiness.” Only by realizing that both the self and all things are inherently “empty” can the heart truly open up.

Benefits of Cultivating a Gentle Heart

Cultivating a gentle heart is beneficial both to oneself and others because if you can dissolve the ego, you may still be yourself when encountering challenges, but you won’t be easily hurt by others’ words or actions. When you do not harm others, they are less likely to intentionally hurt you, making the gentle heart a form of protection for both yourself and others.

As Laozi said, “Nothing in the world is softer or weaker than water, yet it overcomes the hard and strong. Its power lies in its persistence.” Water is the softest thing in the world, yet it can wear away stone. It doesn’t have a fixed path, but as long as there is a gap, it flows everywhere. Its form constantly changes—it becomes ice when cold, vapor when hot, adapting to whatever it encounters. Although it keeps changing, its essence remains unchanged, because it always adheres to its principles.

A truly gentle person is like a bodhisattva, with only one direction—to help all sentient beings benefit. For the sake of bringing benefit, they are willing to adapt to any situation. To benefit sentient beings, one must become extremely gentle, meaning they change according to the circumstances of sentient beings, yet never deviate from their original direction and goal. This is true gentleness.

If one changes to the point of forgetting the original direction or loses their principles, that is not true gentleness but rather being swayed by others. Moreover, the benefit to sentient beings must be genuine and not merely well-intentioned actions that ultimately do harm. The standard for this is measured by wisdom.

Gentleness Is Not Weakness

Furthermore, “gentleness” is not the same as “weakness.” Weak people are fragile and easily hurt when bullied, often losing the will to get back up after falling.

However, those with a gentle heart are not easily bullied because they are resilient like water, knowing how to adapt to circumstances by flowing around obstacles or changing direction. Even if knocked down, they can get back up like a roly-poly toy. This is the essence of “softness overcoming hardness.”

Strength and gentleness are essentially interconnected. Truly strong people are resilient, not easily defeated by setbacks. For instance, despite being physically frail, facing misfortune, and not being exceptionally wise, I have always moved in the same direction. Sometimes, I pause or take a detour instead of going straight, but I always continue forward. Along the way, whether on a wide or narrow path, I have managed to find my own way forward.